So I Married An Axe Murderer

Poems

These are the four poems we see Charlie perform in the movie. Let me know if you spot any errors, please.

Woman, woman, woman (original)

Woman...
Woe-man...
Whoooa-man!

She was a thief
You gotta believe
She stole my heart and my cat.

Betty,
Judy,
Josie and those hot Pussycats...

They make me horny,
Saturday morny...
Girls of cartoo-ins...
Won't leave me in ruins...

I want to to be Betty's Barney.

Hey Jane...
Get me off this crazy thing...

Called love.

O Butcher Lady (not performed but in his notebook)

O Butcher Lady
Killer of sheep
And men

Untrusting
Unknowing
Unloving

This poem sucks

Woman, woman, woman (Mrs. X version)

Woman...
Woe-man...
Whoooa-man!

We had love not just sex
Is she Mrs. X?
I had to run for my life!

(pauses)

Jane! Get me off this crazy thing
Called love

Bellicose Butcher

Harriet!
Harri-et!
Hard hearted harbinger of haggis!

Beautiful!
Bemused!
Bellicose butcher!

Untrusting!
Unknowing!
Unlove-d?

"He wants you back!" He screams into the night air
Like a fireman going to
A window that has no fire
Except the passion of his heart...

I am lonely!
It's really hard!
This poem sucks!

Harriet

Rose!
Jailbird!
Happy in her cage
No longer full of rage
She roosts

Harriet!
Sweet Harriet!
You acted cuckoo
'Cause you thought I would leave you
Sweet bird

Harriet!
Sweet Harriet!
So knowing!
So trusting!
So love-d!

Harriet!
Sweet Harriet!


Matt Lee <mattl@cnuk.org> BY-SA GitLab Glitch